Are you an ENFJ (the Giver / Protagonist / Teacher)?

Every ENFJ is a bit different, but how does this sound?

hands together

Your natural gifts make you:

  • Empathetic
  • Motivated
  • Altruistic
  • Responsible
  • Inspirational

Common challenges:

  • Overcommitting yourself
  • Discomfort with conflict
  • Taking criticism too personally
  • Neglecting self-care
  • Perfectionism
  • Community is incredibly important to you, and you love connecting people. Your relationships are everything, and you're a loyal, reliable friend. Because you value deep connection, you can sometimes feel lonely or misunderstood.
  • You're naturally oriented toward supporting others. You're the one who makes sure everyone's needs are taken care of, and your empathy helps people feel seen and appreciated. People are inspired by you, and you're great at motivating and steering groups.
  • Unfortunately, your desire to help and please everyone leads to you overextending yourself and neglecting your own needs. You're so focused on others that you don't take time to recharge yourself.
  • Although you're excellent at navigating social situations and maintaining harmony, you tend to avoid conflict by suppressing your own feelings.
  • You're a visionary, but your high standards make you a perfectionist who feels like you're never doing enough, which can make you feel anxious or cause you to procrastinate.

Does that resonate? If not, you might try going back to your results page and exploring one of your other highly-rated type possibilities. (Or, if you landed directly on this page from Google, you can take my test here).

ENFJ Tip #1:

You're always thinking about your web of social relationships and obligations. So, make a list of everything you've committed to and make sure that's how you truly want to be spending your time and energy.

You don't want to disappoint people, but it's also important to properly manage your energy to avoid burning out.

Try this video of mine (and please consider subscribing to my channel if it resonates):

ENFJ Tip #2:

To mature your Ni function, take time to zoom out to the bigger picture of your life and reflect on your goals, priorities, values, and needs.

Quiet your mind through meditation or journaling, and spend time alone exploring abstract symbology through art, music, metaphor, philosophy, poetry, etc.

With Ni, you won't always consciously understand how you reached certain conclusions—you might just feel an epiphany inside yourself. Practice trusting that.

I invite you to join thousands of other NFJ's who have subscribed to my mailing list.

I write about topics like these (all filtered through the mind of an ENTP—a fellow 'N' type and "Fe" function user):

  • Lifestyle & Habit Design (motivation & energy management; todo list prioritization; easeful decision-making (yes, even for NP-types); habit formation & retention)
  • Mindset & Meaning (building existential resiliency; rationality + mindfulness; creating purpose; systematically dealing with depression, anxiety, & nihilism)
  • Communication & Social Justice (making friends as an adult, deepening relationships, escaping small talk, and being an effective ally to people with marginalized identities)

As a thank you for signing up, I'll send you the "tiny-book" I wrote specifically to help fellow 'N' types with one of the biggest challenges we all face in the modern world: how to get things done, so you can feel more productive, less stressed, and more fulfilled in life.

Now, I'd like you to consider something:

Think back to when you decided to take my test. On the surface, you might have just been curious what type you would get.

But I'm betting there was a reason underneath that: You want to shift something in your life.

You overextend yourself and neglect your own needs

How would your life be different if you could transform…

From:

  • Giving too much to others
  • Feeling guilty about spending time & energy on yourself
  • Saying yes to too much, then feeling anxious and burned out

To:

  • Being less focused on people-pleasing
  • Prioritizing self-care without guilt
  • Feeling like it's ok to say no, then feeling calm and pleasantly energized

You struggle with confidence and decision-making

How would it feel to go…

From:

  • Always worrying about disappointing others
  • Getting stuck in your head and over-analyzing
  • Failing to trust yourself to stay true to your values

To:

  • Being less focused on people-pleasing
  • Prioritizing self-care without guilt
  • Feeling like it's ok to say no, then feeling calm and pleasantly energized

You fall into perfectionism and can't handle criticism

What would it be worth to shift…

From:

  • Such high standards that you procrastinate
  • Receiving criticism being painful, like a personal failure
  • Feeling very sensitive sometimes, and fearing being abandoned

To:

  • Realistic standards, delegating, and asking for help
  • Feeling internal self-worth without relying on how others see you
  • Experiencing feelings in a more grounded, manageable way

I'm Michael, a coach who helps ENFJ's transform

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I spent most of my 20's and early 30's waiting for my "real life" to start.

I had been completely stuck in my head and out of touch with my feelings and needs. I had no idea how to ask for what I needed to feel deeply nourished.

I was a perfectionist who didn't really understand self-care, and I struggled a lot with decision-making.

I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I devoted three years to pushing myself outside my comfort zone to transform my life. I learned a lot about speaking up for my needs, knowing what I need to feel energized instead of anxious, and finding the right balance between my analytical mind and my embodied emotions.

I created my life purpose, made some dramatic changes to myself and my lifestyle, and finally began to understand what self-love, values alignment, and authentic aliveness feel like.

I'd like to help you feel that too.

What do the top people in every field have in common?

I've worked with Fortune 500 leaders, an Academy Award-winning director, a Mount Everest record holder, and some of the most famous video game designers in the industry.

And I'd like to share a secret with you:

The most successful people get help when they're struggling.

They might look perfect on the outside, but I've seen firsthand that they're grappling with their own challenges—from self-doubt and impostor syndrome to depression and anxiety.

They still hit barriers that they have trouble getting past on their own. And top performers know that they need to put the oxygen mask on themselves first before they're able to most effectively help others.

Just like star athletes benefit from coaching, the top people in every field hire experts to help them improve.

I'd like to help you too.

Our types are a natural fit

I'm an ENTP, so I have two of your cognitive functions (Fe and Ti) but in a different order.

In other words, I get people like you, but I'm also different enough to provide a different way of seeing things. Your weak spot (analytical thinking) is my strong suit.

I struggled for years with different coaches and therapists. The one who finally helped me change my life was a fellow 'N' who spoke my language.

She saw me in a way that few others ever had in my life, and she challenged my beliefs that had held me back for a decade.

It was like a set of dominoes—those coaching sessions eventually set into motion dramatic shifts in virtually every aspect of my life.

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Leaders at top companies have sought my expertise:

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Intel
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siemens
apple

Plus, employees and entrepreneurs from 6 continents—in industries as diverse as crypto, government, education, tech startup, health & wellness, and beyond.

My client list includes executives & founders, product managers, teachers, doctors, consultants, artists, coaches, grad school students, data analysts, a librarian, a zookeeper, and more.

I'd like to earn your trust, as I have with these people:

ENTP's:

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Michael's program felt very much like Jedi training on Dagobah with Master Yoda.

—Engineering consultant

I feel I have been heard. Michael is truly open minded. His responses were for me specifically and not just for all *NTPs. 

He has been a genuine and honest set of bricks to start building a foundation with. He conveys positive messages in a way that makes me consider them deeply.

I could walk away from working with him at any point and feel accomplished and sated, but I don't because every session has proven useful.

—Explorer living the #vanlife

The insights and ideas we shared together took me from a very restless and uncertain Point A, to the trail with a map and the makings of a plan, to a Point B that aligns with my values and needs.

—Senior Salesforce Consultant

INTP's:

I’m getting stuck in overthinking so much less often.

It’s like my gut instinct is coming to me now with a whole army instead of just a few horsemen.

—Startup Co-Founder & COO

This experience has been life-changing. Michael is very helpful, respectful, and an interesting person that I look forward to seeing every time.

—Information Systems Officer for a government organization

I love the feeling of calm I experience now. I don’t second guess myself. I realize so clearly that I was irrationally confident before I started working with Michael, and I now feel a deeper sense of confidence that’s more open-minded and curious.

I think a good video game analogy for how I’ve progressed is that I feel like I’m playing my life in first-person point-of-view mode now vs. third person. My relationship with my wife has improved a lot, and everyone in my life has noticed a big change in me.

I’m still the same personality type, but it’s funny to think how subtle changes have shifted so much of how I feel every day.

I don't feel like a different person exactly, but rather that I'm far more of my true self than I've ever been.

It’s hard to overstate how much happier I am.

—Tech Entrepreneur

INTJ's:

I like how quickly you react to my current needs.

Sometimes I struggle with something that does not really feel like it has a solution. I mention it, and in most cases, you always find a different angle/approach or offer some alternatives that help.

The most impactful part of our work together is that feeling that I am backed up - that I have someone I trust, respect and appreciate who I can always consult on difficult things with.

I was talking with a colleague, and they commented on my high energy lately and the impressive systems I have in place.

They asked what my secret is, and I told them it’s that I’m working with an excellent coach.

—Deputy Executive Director of a government organization in Europe

All the other counselors I've worked with have just kept validating my feelings and opinions and telling me I'm right.

But you're different: You actually challenge me. You help me consider what I might be missing.

Thanks so much for your compassion. You always deliver fantastic resources, and I can tell that you really care.

—Artist and director of a non-profit

This is not at all what I thought coaching would be like.

We ended up doing something totally different than I had been looking for (or thought I needed), but I'm surprised to say it was amazingly effective.

In the time I've been working with Michael, I was elected Vice President of my organization. I’ve felt my perpetual guilt disappear around work, and I find myself worrying less about what I can’t control.

I’ve even had some very philosophical revelations about what life is all about. I feel really good, thank you.

—Vice President of a non-profit

I feel like I am in a great place now after our last session. Everything is falling into place and I feel good.

—Software Developer, turned yoga teacher & entrepreneur

I’ve implemented all the tools you’ve given me and it’s made a huge difference in my life. People honestly think I’m like a different person now.

—Video content creator with millions of followers

ENFP's:

Overall, all the things I am learning and applying from you and the PQ program are lining up now and MAN I am just happily damn enjoying my life and happy, just like that!

Well, I am seeing some really good changes! ...Makes interactions with strangers SO much more pleasant, and not energy-draining!

It's frickin crazy. I love it. And that's after just a few weeks... !

—8-Figure Entrepreneur

Thank you so much for being the absolute best life coach ever.

You are an amazing person and incredible mentor/advice-giver all in one and I can’t thank you enough!

I honestly don’t know where I’d be today if not for you.

—Freelance Editor

It’s really unbelievable how I’ve gone from crying almost every day at home while unemployed to where I am now.

I feel like I’m more like myself every day and I couldn’t have imagined this before when I couldn’t even eat due to being depressed and anxious about my family and especially my cheating ex.

It feels weird to celebrate myself, but little me gave me a high-five since she said I deserved one and was proud of me! I am more appreciative than words could honestly ever convey for all you’ve done.

—Graphic Design Consultant

I’d fallen into such a deep depression and hit rock bottom. It seemed like I wasn’t getting anything important done.

But after talking with you, I feel energized and back on track. I can do this!

—Web Designer

I really appreciate your calming demeanor and ability to bring me toward a similar state (even when I have arrived at a scheduled session a bit 'wound up').

Your ability to listen and follow up on important points between sessions is remarkable and it helps to give me the impression of making progress.

—Game Developer

INFP's:

I am floored.

This was truly a feeling I don't think I have ever felt before.  I have so much to think about after our session.

This was a truly wonderful experience, thank you.

—Speech-Language Pathologist

I am truly grateful for the support, guidance, and knowledge you have shared with me throughout this journey. It has been an enriching experience that has helped me grow both personally and professionally.

I deeply appreciate your patience, compassion, and wisdom... Your guidance has been instrumental in helping me reflect and grow as a person.

Wishing you continued success in empowering others as you have done for me.

—Software Developer

ENFJ's:

I knew within 30 seconds of our first call that Michael was someone I wanted by my side.

Here was someone who could finally see me, as I truly was deep down. And that eventually helped me fully see myself.

Back then, it felt like life was acting upon me, and I was suffering professionally and in my relationships.

I really don’t feel any of that now. I had been grasping for solutions through a certain lens, and Michael helped me find a completely different set of lenses that make everything look different.

Those negative feelings haven’t all gone away entirely. But my reality has completely changed, and I feel so much more able to meet them those challenges.

—Medical School Student, turned psychotherapy grad school student

INFJ's:

Perhaps you are a person who gets sucked into tunnel vision and struggles to remain present and enjoy the process without obsessing over future outcomes. A person who wishes you had a translator for your own thoughts.

If so, time spent with Michael may be just what you need. His gentle, open-minded insights make him the perfect sounding board for intuitive persons who face the daily struggle of feeling misunderstood.

Michael has helped me to examine my own thought patterns and motivations more objectively. He is a truly gifted counselor, and time with him has proved to be a valuable step toward acquiring deeper self-knowledge.

—Nurse, turned photographer & sustainable garden designer

When I first started seeing you, I was full of self-hatred and anxiety, and I had trouble trusting most of my relationships. I felt like I had to curate myself to be accepted by others.

I’m so amazed by the profound impact this work has had on me.

The biggest surprise for me has been that I feel less bored in conversations now. I feel like I can trust people more, and I’m much more at ease in being truly vulnerable rather than having to play a certain role for them.

—Leadership trainer and facilitator

I feel lucky to have Michael on my team. We started working together as I was planning a life transition. He supported me by guiding me past self-doubt and into my body's natural sense of where it wants to go — clarity.

In our ongoing work, Michael provides open-ended perspectives on situations that I can tend to see as more closed-off. He has so many tools, resources, and experiences that give me confidence that he can add a lot to my journey. Our sessions give me a boost and let me step forward with some really healthy attitudes.

—Software Developer, turned yoga teacher & entrepreneur

I want to name that our work together has had a dramatic, tangible impact on my life.

Working with other coaches and therapists before has been helpful, but you’ve given me something significantly different. You’ve changed my life in a very real way and set me on an entirely new path. I’ll be forever grateful.

—Librarian turned psychotherapist

ESTP's:

I kept walking away with one refreshing insight after another. Michael admirably applies praise where deserved and tends to avoid positivity for positivity’s sake. He does not judge – he seeks to understand. His inquisitive nature and mannerisms are a refreshing blend of friendly banter, humor, and understanding that are hard to find and very much appreciated.

There is great peace of mind in knowing that at least one person outside of my family can be absolutely trusted with my most confidential musings about my career.

He has an uncanny ability to say something back to me in a way that’s more coherent than how I first said it. When I hear my thoughts stated back to me it brings a certain permanence, conviction, and power to them I am challenged to replicate on my own.

I can’t thank Michael enough, and I wholeheartedly encourage you to take advantage of his gift.

—Director at a Fortune 10 company

ESFP's:

Oh my God, I’m convinced.

I thought for sure I was an ENTJ. I could never believe that I was an ESFP because I don’t fit into the typical ESFP stereotypes. I managed to get through med school!

But hearing you explain it as you did, it just makes perfect sense now. This explains so much.

I’m afraid of this work I have to do but I know it’s what I need.

—Surgeon

FAQ

How can I work with you?

Thanks for your interest in coaching with me. Below you'll find information on several types of offerings: one-on-one coaching, group coaching & workshops, and my blog.

Want to get a sense of what I sound like to talk with? Here are a few of my YouTube videos I like: (a) purposefully discarding thoughts, (b) processing big emotions, and (c) cultivating fragile feelings,

One-on-One Coaching

I've put a lot of thought into the most logical, fair, and ethical way to price my services.

Conversations about money tend to bring out a lot of feelings (on both sides), and I want to approach that complexity with the nuance and care it deserves.

So, this will require just a little more work to understand than "pay me $X."

If you're curious, I wrote a whole philosophical article where I break down in detail how I arrived at this set of policies. (All this has evolved a bit too since I wrote that post back in early 2021.)

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My pricing philosophy & policies

I intentionally aim to serve a variety of people in my practice—including groups who have historically had less access to coaching due to systemic oppression (e.g., 43% of my clients are people of color, and I work with quite a few people who identify as LGBTQIA+ and people across the neurodiversity spectrum).

So, providing access is important to me. And, at the same time, this is my primary source of income, and I need to be able to run a sustainable business.

Here's the model I've arrived at:

  • Sliding-scale (variable pricing):

    I offer the same service at multiple price points based on need (honor system, no proof required). But paying the highest price you can afford allows me to offer much lower-priced coaching to people who couldn't otherwise afford it.

  • First session is free:

    Let's make sure we're the right fit for each other. So much of coaching comes down to trust, chemistry, and connection. Each coach has a different style, so I want to make sure you feel comfortable with mine.

  • You're in charge—no commitment, stop any time:

    Many other coaches require clients to sign up for big expensive packages (with subtle or overt pressure on you). I take a different approach: Pay for sessions one at a time, work with me for as long as it feels valuable, and feel free to pause or stop our work together whenever it feels right for you.

  • Commit to at least two sessions per month:

    Roughly half my clients see me weekly, and half every other week. I sometimes make exceptions to see people less frequently, but that slows our progress and makes it harder for me to stay up-to-date with your life (i.e., we spend more time on life updates instead of transformation).

  • Most importantly, let’s be real with each other:

    I’m not a big faceless corporation charging one fixed price for a product, and you’re a complex human with various types of expenses in your life. Let’s have a real authentic conversation about what you can afford that’s fair to both of us. It's not you vs. me, but us figuring this out together as a team.

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My Sliding Scale

Please do your own research if you'd like a comparison for coaching rates.

But I can tell you that $200-500 USD per session is a common price charged by my peers with similar experience and credentials.

Here's what else you'll get by working with me:

  • I'll start off by sending you a detailed questionnaire to help us get to know each other—and, more importantly, to help you get crystal clear on your goals for coaching.
  • I'll customize my coaching style based on your personality type (I have expertise in several powerful typing systems).
  • This isn't one-size-fits-all advice. We'll co-create a unique personal growth trajectory just for you. I'll bring in techniques from Co-Active coaching, Hakomi counseling, and much more—whatever is most appropriate for your specific challenges.
  • You'll be the first to hear about my new projects, tools, Mastermind groups, and other offerings.
  • You'll also get access to me via email between sessions (for example, if you'd like me to review your resume or answer a time-sensitive question). And, as we work together, I might share worksheets, articles, or podcasts that make me think of you.

Which one best describes your situation?

Below are my rates for a 50-minute session. Again, this is the same service being offered at each price tier.

There are many life situations that aren't perfectly covered in this table. Please do your best to pick the category that feels closest to yours.

(This scale is not meant to be a value judgment. You're not a good or bad person for having substantial resources or for lacking those. This is simply an attempt to find the fairest possible exchange of value amidst complexity.)

Standard Rate A
  • You earn over $170K USD/year (or, you have substantial savings / passive income / inheritance)
  • Or, you can buy most things without needing to save up
  • Or, your company will be paying for this
  • Bonus: By paying this rate, you allow me to offer lower-priced coaching to someone with a marginalized identity (thank you!)

$267 USD

Standard Rate B
  • You earn over $120K USD/year (before tax, including bonuses)
  • Or, you regularly spend $200+ USD on non-necessities without needing to save up
  • Or, your family/parents have substantial assets that you have access to (so that you live mostly on gifted/inherited income or don't have to work to survive)

$197 USD

Reduced Rate
  • You earn under $120K USD/year (before tax, including bonuses)

$147 USD

Special Rate
  • You earn under $50K USD/year (before tax, including bonuses)
  • And, you have very little disposable income (i.e., you can't afford a lot beyond basic necessities)
  • And, you identify as part of a historically marginalized group such as LGBTQIA+ or BIPOC and you feel like that has had a significant effect on your income (or, you face other challenges that have significantly limited your income potential such as systemic discrimination, disability, chronic illness, or substantial non-optional healthcare costs)

$97 USD
(waitlist only)

(I'm a fan of crypto, so I'm open to receiving payment in ETH or BTC as well. Credit card is easier for me to process, but if your money is tied up in crypto, I'm open to talking about how to receive payment that way.)

Group Coaching, Masterminds, Workshops,


I don't currently have any group coaching programs runnning. But please sign up below to be the first to hear about my new programs, writing, and free tools & frameworks.

You can also follow me on my new YouTube channel, which is where I've been putting more of my energy lately.

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If paid coaching doesn't fit into your current financial situation, you can check out my free tools and blog posts.