Why people get their personality type wrong, and how to find yours

How to find (or confirm) your personality type (and why that's so hard)

Ready to better understand yourself and begin to move past your challenges in life?

Figuring out your Jung-Myers (16 types) personality type is a great start, but getting it right can be hard.

I'd like to help.

On this page, I'll cover the following:

What to do if you're having trouble figuring out your type;
Why properly typing people is so hard;
What can get in the way of getting someone's type right (or your own);
How neurodivergence and trauma might factor into type;
How you can practically put this knowledge to use once you've figured out your type;
Information about my type-centered transformational coaching & existential counseling practice.

First, I suggest you take my free cognitive function personality test.

Still unsure of your type after that?

My website attracts a lot of NTP's (as an ENTP, I specialize in those types), so if you feel torn between whether you're an INTP or ENTP, I have a page just for you that compares those two types in detail.

Beyond that, here are some tips for narrowing down your type:

Learn about the cognitive functions. You have a window into your complex self that's clearer than any test can offer you. I encourage you to carefully read through the informational pages at the beginning of my test to better understand how the 16-types system works. (Be sure to click the little '+' boxes for additional details along the way.) Then, on the final results page, pay careful attention to the list of cognitive functions in each type.
Everyone changes over time. I don't believe that a person's type can change, but it can seem that way when your self-awareness improves and you shed layers of personality that have been imposed on you by the outside world. So, as you consider your type, pay attention to the version of "you" that it feels like you're growing into. Who are you becoming? (That said, it can also be helpful to think about how you were as a child too before the world taught you how you're "supposed" to be.)
Remember that the extraversion/introversion dichotomy is less about how gregarious you are and more about how you gain or lose energy. Even introverts love partying sometimes, and even extraverts love staying home alone sometimes. But, look instead for patterns. If you're feeling low and you go hang out with (interesting) people, does that tend to revitalize you or drain you even further? Try to think less about the most extreme cases (or the exceptions) and more about what's most common for you.
Get outside opinions. If you've narrowed it down to several types, ask other people in your life to read the description of each one and weigh in on which seems most like you. This can help you avoid blind spots and connect the dots between the information you get from multiple sources.
Remember that no type is better or worse than another. Notice if you find yourself really wanting to be a certain type or really not wanting to be another. Could that be clouding your judgment? If you've come to believe that a certain type is especially good or bad, notice where you've been getting your information. There are a lot of stereotypes out there, so be careful which websites and people you trust. Be especially discerning when it comes to social media and memes. Typology is a complex subject, and most people out there are not experts. It took me many years of study before I felt comfortable advising people.

Why is properly typing people so hard?

Finding your true type can be very difficult.

And typing other people can be even harder since two different types might exhibit the same outward behavior but for very different internal reasons.

Some amateur typologists claim to be able to determine a person's type very quickly, but I'm always highly doubtful.

I've been working with the 16 types for a decade, and it still typically takes me well over an hour to confidently type someone. (And even then, I like to work with them over several sessions to be sure.)

So, if you're struggling to figure out what type you are, that's perfectly normal.

Here are some things that can get in the way:

Cultural influence: Depending on where you grew up, certain attributes were emphasized and celebrated all around you. For example, people in a more collectivist culture might answer questions in a way that makes them appear more like a Feeler than a Thinker—simply because that's what they've been raised to think a "good person" looks like. Gender stereotypes and expectations can also factor in heavily here.
Learned behaviors vs. innate preferences: Similarly, we all develop skills, coping mechanisms, and masking techniques to adapt to our environments and try to be perceived as competent, likable, or desirable. For example, if you've been working in a sales position, you might have had to condition yourself to develop more extraverted behaviors to succeed at work.
Desired self-image: You might unconsciously answer the questions in a way that aligns more with how you want to be perceived rather than how you actually are. For example, your answers might skew toward Te (extraverted thinking) because you wish you were more decisive, or you see decisive people as highly respectable, or you've worked really hard on developing decisiveness to overcome your natural deficiency there.
Age: When you're younger, it's natural to still be trying on different identities to see where you best fit in. For example, especially if you're not fully clear yet on your values and preferences, you might shy away from affirmatively answering Fi (introverted feeling) questions. Personally, it took me several years of investigating the 16 types (and myself) to realize my true type.
Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues: These can have a huge variety of impacts on self-perception. For example, for years I thought I was an Introvert instead of an Extravert because I was depressed and socially anxious. Then, as I did a lot of personal growth work and found a community of people where I belonged, I realized I'm clearly an Extravert.
Trauma: This again can have a huge range of impacts. For example, the trauma response of hypervigilance could make you gravitate toward answering questions in an Se way (extraverted sensing), and trauma-related dissociation could manifest as Ti (introverted thinking) or Ni (introverted intuition) type responses.
Neurodivergence: This too could manifest in all sorts of ways. For example, two common things experienced by many autistic people are wanting to be in their heads instead of their bodies (which could look like Introversion) and being out of touch with their feelings (which could look like Thinking).

As you can see from that list, figuring out your type on your own can be tricky business, so it can be quite beneficial to work with an expert like me.

How might neurodivergence factor into type?

First of all, I'm not at all an expert on trauma or neurodivergence, nor am I qualified to diagnose mental illness.

That said, as a professional coach and counselor with expertise in type, I've worked with a lot of clients who have ADHD, identify as neurodivergent, or have histories of trauma.

Increasingly, I've been receiving questions like this one: "Many of the traits that describe NTPs are also common symptoms of ADHD. So which is it: Is someone an NTP, or are they a different type who has ADHD?"

Again, not an expert, and this is a delicate subject. But, I'll offer a few answers to this type of question:

We don't know for sure. Neurodivergence has been a quickly evolving field of study, revealing all sorts of complexities in how minds work. There's been very little formal research on potential correlations between neurodivergence, trauma, and personality type.
Some research has shown a correlation between ADHD and 'P' types (especially NP's). There might also be a link between IxTP's and autism, and between 'J' types (especially SJ's) and OCD. However, none of these are hugely strong correlations, so please take all that with a grain of salt.
Anecdotally, in my coaching practice, I've seen what appears to be a correlation between NTP's and ADHD. But, it's also important to keep in mind that seeking an official diagnosis for ADHD can unfortunately be difficult and expensive. So, many of my clients are self-diagnosed, which might not always be accurate. As we work together, I try to better understand what's really going on. In any case, though, the strategies I offer my clients can often work either way: whether they have ADHD or they're just an NTP facing ADHD-like challenges.
The line between personality type and mental disorder (or neurotype) is often a matter of symptom severity. For example, everyone feels down sometimes, but there's a difference between that and major depressive disorder. Similarly, while most NTP's do struggle with getting things done, someone with extreme ADHD might face a much more severe degree of difficulty than the average NTP without ADHD. Ultimately, while personality traits represent preferences and tendencies, mental disorders or some types of neurodivergence can indicate more substantial challenges in daily functioning.
ADHD is a modern (imperfect) term from the medical model of psychotherapy, which is a paradigm saying that mental health conditions are disorders that have underlying biological or neurological causes. That's just one perspective though. Another is to see this as a variation in neurological functioning that is not a disorder but just a different way of experiencing reality.
Since 'S' types are dominant in the world, one way to look at all this is that pretty much all N's are "neurodivergent" in the sense of having different cognitive styles from what's most typical (which is why 'N' types often feel a bit alien). But, this doesn't make us N's inferior in any way. We just have a different way of taking in and processing information (which can often be quite valuable).
Everyone is unique, and it's important to see humans as complex beings with many parts, one of which is type, and one of which is neurotype. There are many other parts too, such as life experiences, family of origin, and so on. All of those represent a complex interplay that makes us who we are.

What about trauma?

In some ways, this is even trickier.

Trauma responses can often look similar to type traits. This can make it hard to know if that behavior is a personality tendency or a coping mechanism.

This is a highly complex, nuanced issue that I believe the type community needs to be more aware of.

But, it's also incredibly difficult because understanding how trauma has shaped us can often require years of therapy (and even then, it can be difficult to tease apart the root cause of behaviors).

For example:

What looks like 'Ti' behavior could be a genuine preference for logic... or a defense mechanism for avoiding emotional pain.
What looks like 'Fe' could be genuine empathetic harmony-seeking... or a fawning defense mechanism for appeasing threats and avoiding further abuse.
What looks like 'Ne' could be a genuine preference for exploring patterns in the mind... or a dissociation defense mechanism for escaping overwhelming sensations or discomfort in the body.

So, there's no easy answer here.

That said, when trying to determine your personality type (or answering the questions on my test), you might consider any trauma responses or coping strategies you know you have.

For example:

Are you naturally curious about the environment around you, or is it fear-based hypervigilance? (If the latter, you might consider more neutral responses to some of the questions related to the 'Se' cognitive function.)
Do you genuinely wish for group harmony, or are you trying to avoid a scary feeling of rejection? (If the latter, you might consider more neutral responses to some of the questions related to the 'Fe' cognitive function.)
Do you truly enjoy solitude, or is it a strategy to reduce strong anxiety? (If the latter, you might consider more neutral responses to some of the questions related to the 'I' preference.)

Try to differentiate between behaviors that you do to feel safe (such as people-pleasing) versus ones that represent your actual preferences and values. (I know: This is much easier said than done!)

When answering a question, try to notice if your motivation is derived from fear/anxiety or from how you authentically want to move through the world (not a fantasy version of yourself, but "you" if you were just a little less driven by a fear response).

You might try to imagine how you behave and feel in safer, more neutral environments where you're not under stress or threat.

I know that all this makes finding your type feel more confusing. Sorry 🙂 But I also want to be real with you: The fields of neuroscience and psychology are much more complex today than when Jung, Myers, and Briggs developed the 16 types.

Finding your true type can be hard work, but I still believe it's worth it.

If you've already taken my free personality test and you still feel unsure about your type, a profiling session would be a good next step.

This is a 90-minute session focused purely on determining your Myers-Briggs type. These are on Zoom and cost $197 USD. I'll ask you a series of questions and help you figure out which type best fits you. You'll be able to ask any questions you have, and you'll leave with some advice on how your type best makes decisions and feels energized.

Schedule a typing session ($197 USD)

Ok, you've taken my test and figured out your type. Now what?

Just knowing your type is nice. But working with me one-on-one is a great way to actually do something with that knowledge.

I used to offer one-time "personality profiling sessions," but I realized after a while that I didn't like it.

Yes, I can make a good guess about your type after a single profiling session together. But it felt hollow to just tell someone their type and leave them to do the truly hard work on their own of dealing with that type's weaknesses and barriers.

As a coach, I've made it my mission to support people in defining and living their life purposes, and simply telling someone their type and sending them off on their way didn't feel like I was doing that.

Here's why I believe an ongoing relationship is important:

First, we all have a ton of baggage around our sense of self.

This includes standards around race and gender, how our parents told us we "had" to be, what we saw in movies, what we were told a "good person" looks like, etc.

So, we often unconsciously cover up our true selves with many layers of protection.

The best way for me to uncover someone's core self (and true personality type) is to work with them regularly as a coach/counselor and help them peel away some of those layers.

If you have a lot of armor up, even the very best personality profiler won't be able to accurately figure out your type in a single profiling session.

Second, knowing your type is nice; but, far more important is what you do with that information.

A lot of people will take a test to learn their personality type but then continue going through life exactly as they always have.

What was the point?

If you choose to explore coaching instead, I can help you uncover your blind spots and figure out what's holding you back from the life you want.

For example, in my case, I thought I was an INTP for many years, and it was huge to realize I was actually an ENTP.

Learning that truth helped me understand that I hadn't just been avoiding social events because my mind is naturally introverted (i.e., something outside my control).

Rather, I'd been doing so because of other things that are very much changeable: social anxiety, overly-harsh judgment of other people (especially feelers or people I labeled "shallow"), and neglect of a core part of myself (since I'd so heavily prioritized my analytical mind over my emotional awareness).

Knowing my real type allowed me to take specific action to turn all that around.

By getting to know how your specific mind works, you'll better understand what you need to be happy, what motivates you, what makes you lose energy, how you can best make decisions, and more.

Sound interesting? Scroll down to get your questions answered and apply for a free sample session with me.

(Or, if you really just want a one-off personality typing session, I highly recommend Personality Hacker's service.)

P.S. Here's my free guided series on the #1 skill I recommend all types learn to make the most of your life—especially Thinkers. And, here's my "manifesto" on why I believe everyone should aim to become what I call a Full-Stack Human.

If you've already taken my free personality test and you still feel unsure about your type, a profiling session would be a good next step.

Schedule a typing session ($197 USD)

Here's How This Works:

I've put a lot of thought into the most logical, fair, and ethical way to price my services.

Conversations about money tend to bring out a lot of feelings (on both sides), and I want to approach that complexity with the nuance and care it deserves.

So, this will require just a little more work to understand than "pay me $X."

(If you're curious, I wrote a whole philosophical article where I break down in detail how I arrived at this set of policies.)

My Model:

You first sample session is free and no-risk
I’d like to build a fruitful, ongoing relationship with you. So, let’s make sure we’re the right fit. Many other coaches focus the first call on sales and logistics, but I’ll instead offer you a real sample of my coaching. Let’s explore an actual challenge you’re facing in your life.
Commit to 2-4 sessions per month
Seeing each other less often slows progress and means more time spent on life updates instead of transformation. Scheduling is flexible. At the end of each session, we open our calendars and find the next time that works for both of us (or, we can pick a regular weekly/bi-weekly time).
You're in charge—you're not locked into anything
Most coaches require signing up for expensive package deals. But one of my core values is freedom, so I want to offer that to you: Pay for sessions one at a time and stop whenever you like.
I use a sliding scale (i.e., variable pricing)
I offer the same service at multiple price points based on need (honor system, no proof required). This allows me to offer lower-priced coaching to people who couldn't otherwise afford it.
Most importantly, let’s be real with each other
I’m not a faceless corporation, and you’re a unique, complex human. If you’re not sure where you fall on my sliding scale, let’s have an authentic conversation about what you can afford that’s fair to both of us. It's not you vs. me, but us figuring this out together as a team.

My Sliding Scale:

I serve a variety of people, including groups who have historically had less access to coaching due to systemic oppression.

Many of my clients identify as LGBTQIA+ or neurodivergent, and 43% are people of color.

This is my primary source of income, so I aim to provide access while also running a sustainable business.

Please do your own research if you'd like a comparison for coaching rates.

But I can tell you that $200-500 USD per session is a common price charged by my peers with similar experience and credentials.

What You Get By Working With Me:

I'll start off by sending you a detailed questionnaire. It'll help me get to know you and support you in getting crystal clear on your goals for coaching.
This isn't one-size-fits-all. I'll customize my coaching style based on your personality type (I have expertise in several powerful typing systems).
We'll co-create a unique personal growth trajectory just for you. I'll bring in techniques from Co-Active coaching, Hakomi counseling, Positive Intelligence coaching, Zen Buddhism, or whatever is most appropriate for your specific challenges.
You'll get access to me via email between sessions (e.g., if you'd like me to review your resume or answer a time-sensitive question). And, as we work together, I might share worksheets, articles, or podcasts that make me think of you.
P.S. Want to get a sense of what I sound like? Here are a few of my YouTube videos I like: (a) introducing myself, (b) purposefully discarding thoughts, (c) processing big emotions, and (d) cultivating fragile feelings,

Questions?
Check out my FAQ below the pricing table.

Which Best Describes Your Situation?

Below are my rates for a 50-minute session. Again, this is the same service being offered at each price tier.

Many life situations aren't perfectly covered in this table. Please do your best to pick what feels closest to yours.

(P.S. This isn't a value judgment. You're not a good or bad person for having substantial resources or for lacking those. This is simply an attempt to find the fairest possible exchange of value amidst complexity.)

Standard Rate A

You earn over $170K USD/year (or, you have substantial savings / passive income / inheritance / property / other assets)
Or, you can buy most things without needing to save up
Or, your company will be paying for this
Bonus: By paying this rate, you allow me to offer lower-priced coaching to someone with a marginalized identity (thank you!)

$297 _USD

Schedule Free Sample Session

Standard Rate B

You earn over $120K USD/year (before tax, including bonuses)
Or, you regularly spend $200+ USD on non-necessities without needing to save up (or you pay full price for services like workshops, massages, nice restaurant dinners or drinks, etc.)
Or, you own property or other significant assets
Or, your family/parents have substantial assets that you have access to (so that you live mostly on gifted/inherited income or don't have to work to survive)

$197 _USD

Schedule Free Sample Session

Reduced Rate

You earn under $120K USD/year (before tax, including bonuses)

$147 _USD

Schedule Free Sample Session

Special Rate

You earn under $50K USD/year (before tax, including bonuses)
And, you have very little disposable income (i.e., you can't afford much beyond basic necessities, and you don't have a family able and willing to easily support you financially)
And, you identify as part of a historically marginalized group such as LGBTQIA+ or BIPOC and you feel like that has had a significant effect on your income (or, you face other challenges that have significantly limited your income potential such as systemic discrimination, disability, chronic illness, or substantial non-optional healthcare costs)

$97 _USD
(waitlist only)

Schedule Free Sample Session

(I'm a fan of crypto too. Credit card is easier to process; but, if your money is tied up in crypto, I'm open to discussing payment in BTC or ETH.)

If paid coaching doesn't fit into your current financial situation, some of my no-cost offerings include my blog and my YouTube channel (the latter of which I update most frequently).

FAQ

I'm an experienced coach who's helped a lot of multi-passionate, big-picture thinkers.

I’ve spent over a decade working with leaders and team members from top Fortune 500 companies (e.g., Google, Siemens, Nike).
Outside the corporate world, I’ve helped people ranging from a founder of a popular crypto protocol, to doctors, students, software engineers, aspiring entrepreneurs, and people who haven't yet figured out their deepest passion & life purpose.
I created one of the most popular websites in the personality typing world—millions of people (from 193 countries) have trusted my test.
With over 500 logged hours of training, I have a background in both executive / life coaching (CTI Co-Active Coaching, Positive Intelligence) and counseling (Hakomi somatic mindfulness, R-CS Re-Creation of the Self). You can read more about my qualifications here.
I also have a substantial background in the existential/spiritual domain. I was raised Catholic, then turned hard atheist for much of my life. As an adult, I deeply explored many major religions, spiritual systems, and ways of thinking about meaning and purpose (including experimenting extensively with psychedelics and other paths toward altered states). Eventually, I found my home as a serious practitioner of Sōtō Zen Buddhism. I've been meditating for 14 years (currently doing so for over an hour most days), and I regularly participate in long silent meditation retreats. (But, don't worry if you don't subscribe to Buddhism—I can reference it if it resonates or leave it out if not.)

If you've struggled to find a coach or counselor who really gets you, I can empathize. It took me a long time to find someone who could keep up with me and go as deep as I wanted to go.

When I found the right person for me, it was pretty clear after only five minutes. If you think I might be a good fit for you, I encourage you to schedule a free sample session to see how it feels.

I've had a very successful career, so I understand what you need to learn to succeed.

I won an Emmy, and I later worked at the production company of an Academy Award-winning director.
I worked at some of the top video game companies in the world (Square Enix, Naughty Dog).
I’ve managed multimillion-dollar web and app projects for some of the world's most famous brands.

So, I can support you in building skills like confidence, communication, EQ, social skills, decision-making, productivity, achieving ambitious goals, and the other fundamentals you need to succeed at work and at home.

I know what it's like to struggle with depression, social disconnection, and lack of purpose.

I’ve been where you are. Despite my success—an objective outside observer would say my life was amazing—I still felt an existential void for much of my adult life. It felt like I was treading water waiting for my "real" life to start.

I wondered how other people seemed to be so happy, so fulfilled, and to have so many friends. I struggled with depression, anxiety, nihilism, low confidence, procrastination, and very low motivation outside work.

But I devoted three solid years to changing that, and I learned a lot about what works and doesn’t work. I won't claim that I have it 100% figured out, and I still have hard days. But I’ve found a deep well of motivation in me and a powerful sense of aliveness. And since then, I’ve helped a lot of other people do the same.

I'm committed to creating a safe container for people with a variety of identities. That kind of trust has to be earned, and I'm willing to put in the work to build it with you.

Inclusivity and Equity

We all have complex identities that are impacted by varying levels of access & privilege as well as structural systems of power and oppression. I consider inclusivity and equity to be foundational to my practice, and I strive to continually educate myself to be able to support clients as whole people who may be impacted by a range of issues related to their multi-faceted and intersectional identities.

I'm also a big believer in transparency.

So I can tell you that, at the time of writing:

43% of my clients are people of color;
40% are outside the United States;
55% identify as female, non-binary, or not male.

Here's some of my other experience in the equity space:

Back when I worked in the corporate management consulting world, I was Co-Lead of Slalom Portland's internal DEI (diversity, equity, inclusion) group—creating educational materials, facilitating workshops, and coaching other consultants and leaders to empower people with the psychological safety, self-awareness, and motivation to create a more inclusive and equitable working environment for all.
At the Oregon Country Fair festival, I volunteer as an ally at the Rainbow Connection LGBTQIA+ sanctuary space.
Finally, I invite you to read some of my anti-racism work and some of my writing about gender.

Unearned Advantages

I'm a white, cisgendered, mostly heterosexual person, and I use "they/them" or "he/him" pronouns. (Here's a piece I wrote about pronouns.)

I was born in Canada and moved to the United States at age 13. But aside from that, it's important to name that my set of identities is most typically regarded as the "default" in the dominant culture of the US. That status has given me a certain amount of power and a variety of unearned advantages (i.e., "privilege").

Because that privilege makes it relatively easy to ignore the systems of oppression and inequity around me, I've devoted a significant amount of time and energy over the past few years to examining the ways I've unconsciously internalized beliefs and habits related to whiteness, maleness, and so on within myself. I'm a part of several communities oriented toward collective liberation and mutual accountability with leaders of color and other historically-marginalized identities.

Trauma

In terms of working with trauma, I have some basic training, awareness, and knowledge of grounding exercises, but I'm not an expert. This is an important topic to me, and I've been focusing my learning lately on trauma-informed mindfulness and meditation practices.

If you're wanting support with complex trauma, I deeply empathize with you; however, clinical psychotherapy is outside the scope of my practice.

Neurodiversity

Similarly, I don't have any specific training in working with neurodiversity. However, quite a few of my clients identify as neurodivergent (autistic, ADHD, etc.) and they've appreciated my style and found my coaching to be beneficial.

If you're curious, I've written about potential correlations between personality type and neurodivergence (as well as how trauma might factor into type).

Sliding Scale

To acknowledge structural inequities and my own unearned advantages, you'll see in my sliding scale that I offer slots in my practice for people who identify as part of historically marginalized groups and have very little disposable income available.

This isn't just one or two token slots either. A full 25% of my clients are paying this greatly reduced rate.

I'm happy to talk about all of this and to discuss any access needs you have via email or during our free sample session (which you can schedule by scrolling down).

"I was very impressed by the way you took all those complex topics I threw at you and quickly offered me some valuable unexpected advice.
I’ve never tried coaching before, and this wasn’t any kind of weird pitch. I’m usually really hard to convince of things, but I’m very curious to keep coaching with you."
—ENTP Digital Marketing Manager
"I love the feeling of calm I experience now. I don’t second guess myself. I realize so clearly that I was irrationally confident before I started working with Michael, and I now feel a deeper sense of confidence that’s more open-minded and curious.
I think a good video game analogy for how I’ve progressed is that I feel like I’m playing my life in first-person point-of-view mode now vs. third person.
It’s hard to overstate how much happier I am."
—INTP Tech Entrepreneur
All the other counselors I've worked with have just kept validating my feelings and opinions and telling me I'm right.
But you're different: You actually challenge me. You help me consider what I might be missing. Thanks so much for your compassion. You always deliver fantastic resources, and I can tell that you really care."
—INTJ Director of a Non-Profit
"I was full of self-hatred and anxiety, and I had trouble trusting most of my relationships. I felt like I had to curate myself to be accepted by others.
I’m so amazed by the profound impact this work has had on me. The biggest surprise for me has been that I feel less bored in conversations now.
I feel like I can trust people more, and I’m much more at ease in being truly vulnerable rather than having to play a certain role for them."
—INFJ Leadership Trainer and Facilitator
"It’s really unbelievable how I’ve gone from crying almost every day at home while unemployed to where I am now.
It feels weird to celebrate myself, but little me gave me a high-five since she said I deserved one and was proud of me! I am more appreciative than words could honestly ever convey for all you’ve done."
—ENFP Graphic Design Consultant
"I am floored. This was truly a feeling I don't think I have ever felt before. I have so much to think about after our session. This was a truly wonderful experience, thank you."
—INFP Speech-Language Pathologist
"I knew within 30 seconds of our first call that Michael was someone I wanted by my side. Here was someone who could finally see me, as I truly was deep down. And that eventually helped me fully see myself."
—ENFJ Medical School Student
"I kept walking away with one refreshing insight after another. There is great peace of mind in knowing that at least one person outside of my family can be absolutely trusted with my most confidential musings... I can’t thank Michael enough, and I wholeheartedly encourage you to take advantage of his gift."
—ESTP Director at a Fortune 10 company

I love books and podcasts too, and I've learned a lot from them. But that type of learning only took me so far.

Here's how coaching is different:

You're a unique person, so my coaching is customized.

You're not the same as other people—your mind is structured differently, and what works for them might not work for you.

My coaching will be highly customized for your personality type and—more importantly—for you and the specific barriers and challenges you're facing in your life.

It's not a simple lack of knowledge that's holding you back.

Why haven't you already made the changes you know you need to make in your life?

Here's what I learned the hard way (and what I've seen in all the clients I've worked with):

You aren't being held back by a lack of knowledge. What you really need is ongoing support to change the way you think. To shift how you see the world and yourself.

It's not enough to just read or hear about what you should be doing—you need to experience it.

You need someone who can help you see what you're doing wrong and hold you accountable to make real progress toward change.

My style:

Every coach has their own unique flavor and specialty. Some coaches call themselves career coaches, business coaches, high-performance coaches, relationship coaches, etc.

I support people with all those things, but at the deeper root level. By transforming how you understand yourself and how you show up in the world, we can address your challenges in all those areas.

So, I’m a Transformation Coach (or, put another way, a Self-Awareness & Mindfulness Coach). While I do have a lot of specific advice for business, relationships, etc. as well, my style is more focused on the core person.

Who are you at the deepest level? What do you want your life purpose to be, and are you actually living it in all areas of your life? Are you moving through life in a way that allows you to feel inspired, curious, excited, connected, and fulfilled? Where are your blind spots? How are you fooling yourself? How could you feel happier and make the most of your precious life?

I'm not a "Type A" drill sergeant-type coach.

I'm less focused on maximum productivity at all times, and more on true fulfillment—helping people feel deeply alive and truly satisfied with their lives.

To escape nihilism, overcome depressive thoughts, and feel more connected and aligned with purpose.

If you want someone who's hyper-focused on holding you accountable to rigid goals, I'm not the person for you.

But if you want an ally who will help you tap into your deepest strengths and motivation while also supporting you in a caring way if you stumble, we might be a good fit.

People I've worked with have described me as:

Powerfully-present, calm, and grounded
Authentic, unpretentious, relatable, inclusive, and open
Thoughtful, kind, committed, and non-judgmental
Able to see and present a variety of perspectives
Highly-logical and sharp, but also very empathetic, sensitive, and emotionally intelligent

Clients often tell me after our first session that it wasn't at all what they were expecting and they were very pleasantly surprised.

What does all that look like?

Dozens of studies have shown that the quality of relationship between client and therapist is the single biggest predictor of positive therapy outcomes—even more so than the specific modality the therapist is using. I believe the same is true of coaching.

And you can tell a lot about someone just from watching them for a minute or two. So, I invite you to check out the YouTube channel I recently started to get a feel for what I'm like.

Here are a few of my videos:

What will we do together?

We’ll alternate between tackling specific tactical issues you’re facing (e.g., a recent challenge at work, at home, in your relationships, etc.) and going back to the big picture (your life purpose, career path, and overarching personal growth).

I’m trained in multiple different modalities, which you can read about here. Depending on the type of challenge I’m helping you with, here are some common ways our session might go:

I’ll use my expertise in personality typing to help you better understand how your mind works. Then I’ll use techniques from Positive Intelligence to support you with mental fitness (like weightlifting but to strengthen your mastery over your mind).
I’ll use my coaching and management consulting background to offer you different perspectives and specific advice and suggestions for dealing with the issues you’re facing around things like time management or communication.
Finally, I’ll use Hakomi and R-CS somatic counseling techniques to help you get in a deeply mindful state of mind to explore the foundational experiences, stories, and neural networks responsible for the challenges you're facing. This will help you make more fundamental shifts to transform your experience of life, including shifting which thought patterns you most commonly go to. Ultimately, this will reshape how you feel about yourself and your moment-to-moment experience each day.

My unique offering: a blend

Given my training in both executive/life coaching and counseling, I'm able to provide a combination of both (which is uncommon).

I'll use whichever type of technique I think will best serve you in the moment based on the specific issue we're dealing with in that session, what types of feelings are coming up for you around it, and what I know about your unique background.

To be clear though, I'm not offering clinical psychotherapy here. While I do have years of comprehensive training in counseling, it's outside my scope of practice to diagnose and treat mental illness.

Bottom line: In my experience, it's helpful to most of my clients when I bring in techniques from all the various modalities I've studied. But, if you're clear that you want pure coaching, we can make our sessions more analytical and focused on specific tactical advice for your work or life (or, if you're clear that you want pure counseling, we can focus more on helping you feel resourced and grounded, exploring feelings that come up, and tracing them back to past experiences).

(Here's my longer answer about the difference between coaching and counseling and which one might be right for you. Also, many people choose to see me and a psychotherapist at the same time).

Transitioning from counseling to coaching

Have you been in counseling for a while but feel like you might be ready to transition to coaching?

Maybe it's felt like you've been trying to just stay afloat for a while, but now you feel ready to take more proactive steps toward thriving. With my knowledge of both worlds, I've been able to act as a bridge and support several clients through that transition.

What about mentoring?

Many coaches believe in a very "pure" form of coaching—completely focused on helping the client find their own answers.

The coach asks powerful questions to help the client see their issue from different angles. But ultimately, the coach rarely offers their personal opinion. They're more like a mirror.

In contrast, a mentor is more like a role model who has lived experience that you want. They've gone through similar challenges themselves, and they can advise you based on what worked and didn't work for them.

Many people who work with me tend to be similar to how I was before my big life transformation.

For example, prior to that transformation five years ago, I was:

Working in tech in Agile, project management, product management, and UX;
Dealing with nihilism from being a strong atheist (but dabbling in Buddhism and curious about psychedelics);
Struggling with making decisions since I was stuck in my head and overthinking everything;
Feeling lonely and desperately wanting to skip small-talk, go deeper with people, and find belonging;
Having so many interests that it was hard to pick one and choose a career or design a life purpose.
Beginning to dabble in ethical non-monogamy (polyamory), but not really knowing how to do it properly.

If any of that applies to you, I can offer more than just coaching. I can act as a mentor too and give you specific advice based on my own journey and my experience working with others on similar paths.

The ideal cadence

I typically work with people weekly (but some clients prefer twice weekly or once every other week).

I find that a more frequent cadence allows us to stay better connected, and it helps the client stay better on track toward their goals. But, it all depends on how passionate you feel about making changes in your life right now, what other commitments you have, and your financial situation.

The key to transformation

If you're looking for deep transformation, it is possible to rewire your brain to shift how you relate to the world around you and prioritize new habits. However, the key to building new neural networks is repetition. The more often we're able to identify specific thought patterns that aren't serving you and shift them, the more likely your brain will be to make those new pathways the default.

Bottom line: I'm open to finding the right cadence that works for you, and I only ask that you commit to fully showing up and being open to new perspectives.

You’ve had decades of life to develop mindsets and habits that are now holding you back. It’s only logical that those decades of conditioning won’t be reversed overnight.

How real change works

A lot of people hope for some “a-ha” moment that will change everything in their first or second session. In my experience, lasting change comes more from a series of smaller "a-ha's" over time rather than one big one.

Yes, you will most likely leave our first few sessions with tangible, actionable advice that helps you take some real steps toward change.

And ultimately, it will depend on how far you want to go at this point in your life. If you're looking for help with something tactical like developing a time management system that works for you, we'll likely make progress quickly. If you're looking for deep transformation like creating a life purpose or learning how to feel your feelings more, the truth is that it will take longer (and it will be worth it!).

Here are some specific examples on both ends of the spectrum:

I had an INTJ client who'd been struggling to find her type and understand what she needed to take action on her goals. In two sessions, I was able to help her feel confident in her true type and better understand what she needed to feel energized more regularly.
I had an INTP client who had been struggling with creating stronger habits. He had trouble with work/life balance, and he was torn between all the different ideas he wanted to pursue at once; so, it was hard for him to concentrate on the new habit. In five sessions, I was able to help him begin to focus, and we transformed his approach to language-learning.
I had another INTP client who was facing a lot of challenges at work, especially office politics. Over eleven months, I helped him better understand his needs, assert himself more strongly, and get a promotion. Then, we went on to design a life purpose that inspired him, and he realized he needed to make a more dramatic shift in his life, which culminated in excitedly moving to another country.
In my case (ENTP), it took around nine months of work with a coach (meeting 3-4 times a month) to go from depression, low motivation, and existential void to finding my people, making authentic friendships, quitting my job, starting an intentional community house surrounded by like-minded people, creating my life purpose, re-orienting my life around that, and feeling more alive than ever before.

Let's figure out together what you need to feel fulfilled and deeply alive.

How to find (or confirm) your personality type (and why that's so hard)

The first option is a personality profiling session.

Still unsure of your type after that?

Why is properly typing people so hard?

Here are some things that can get in the way:

How might neurodivergence factor into type?

What about trauma?

The first option is a personality profiling session.

Ok, you've taken my test and figured out your type. Now what?

First, we all have a ton of baggage around our sense of self.

Second, knowing your type is nice; but, far more important is what you do with that information.

Here's How This Works:

My Model:

You first sample session is free and no-risk

Commit to 2-4 sessions per month

You're in charge—you're not locked into anything

I use a sliding scale (i.e., variable pricing)

Most importantly, let’s be real with each other

My Sliding Scale:

What You Get By Working With Me:

Which Best Describes Your Situation?

Standard Rate A

$297 USD

Standard Rate B

$197 USD

Reduced Rate

$147 USD

Special Rate

$97 USD(waitlist only)

FAQ

$297 _USD

$197 _USD

$147 _USD

$97 _USD
(waitlist only)